Saturday, November 24, 2007

Black Friday

I am thankful for: air travel, which is a very cool concept overall, but why does international air travel involving connections have to be a pain in the ass all the time? Perhaps it's some sort of carbon emissions karma or something. Or perhaps receiving luggage = expect delays. And I'm always seated by the screaming three-year-old whose mother is on crack and has no control over the kid who is smacking me on the leg with her pink stuffed poodle. And then seated behind a large woman in sweatpants who deems it appropriate to YELL her philosophies about life in Houston compared with life in Manhattan, Kansas during a 10pm flight to Wichita. I asked her to quiet down and she laughed in my face.

Like most expats, the first steps on my native soil is always a confused mix of shock and comfort. Running through the Houston airport, dodging blobs of fat hanging off bodies and trails of children smacking one another, the scent of french fries in the air, was as cleansing as a yoga breath. Aah, the consistency of American airports at holiday time.
I thought the television was kidding when I first heard the advertisement for JC Penneys, 'opening Friday at 4am'. Then the same for Kohl's. So when my mom and I drove past the latter yesterday, I found it photo-worthy. Who the hell goes shopping at 4am? Is consumerism really that rampant to force bodies that should be sleeping off their food comas into the wild of holiday shopping? I have yet to hear if these tactics paid off.

My mom and I went to Sam's Wholesale Club yesterday. This is the Midwest Costco, basically. I was floored, flabbergasted, shocked by the hugeness of everything. Two gallons of cranberry juice for $2.50. Six gourmet frozen pizzas for $3.00 Three liters of Heinz ketchup for $4.00. A pound of cheese for $2.00. Who in the world needs this size of anything unless you're running a restaurant? Oh, right, the people who are buying these things. In the twenty or so minutes that we were there, I counted NINE people who were not overweight. Nine. And this is the day-after-Thanksgiving crowd. When did America become a nation of gluttons? Granted, I am in the Midwest and it is Black Friday, but I don't remember seeing people this big when I grew up here. I went to the gym last night and was one of three people working out, and one of the guys works at the gym.

I wonder where the voice of the normal people lies. It seems that people are either overweight or underweight; the curse of the size 20+ versus the curse of the size 00.

Subject change. The number 1-ranked college football team lost last night, and tonight KU plays Mizzou and the television has already started showing the tailgating parties at Arrowhead Stadium in KC. This will be damn exciting. The rivalry dates back to the civil war (Kansas was a free state, Missouri a slave state) and people are bringing up all sorts of stuff.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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