Narcissism and self-deception are survival mechanisms without which many of us might just jump off a bridge. - Todd Solondz

Note to self: planning a wedding (sorry, a wedding and a party, on different continents), renovating a flat, learning to drive and finishing a novel while working part-time doth not make light work. This is not a pity-me post, but it is a disclaimer of sorts if this ends up being a narcissistic glimpse into the relatively unstable Krambling mind. (As if blogs are really anything but narcissistic glimpses into the writer's mind, but nevermind.)

NG1 (narcissistic glimpse number one): Another day, another email from a friend saying they can't make it over for the wedding, or to Wichita for the soiree there. I suppose everyone goes through this, but it still sucks. I've never been one of those girls who has planned her wedding since age 4, but I have had The Dream, where everybody I've ever adored from everywhere I've lived gathers together in a huge clump of one-degree-of-separation-ness and scatters, like marbles or jacks, some sticking together and others repeling each other and me thrilled that this blending of the social groups is working. August 1 will be a glorious day with wonderful friends, but there will be some huge holes. In Scotland, they have a wonderful tradition that those who can't make it send cards to be read aloud on the night, then a toast is made to them all. I like that idea. Though it'd be yet another chance to ruin my eye makeup.

NG2: I've been acclimating to the Highlands in two ways that scare me. 1) I think 15 degrees Celsuis/59 degrees Fahrenheit is 'hot'. 2) Whilst in Edinburgh and Glasgow last week, I kept thinking how crowded the streets were, how many people were about, how people were invading my personal space. (And these aren't big cities - 600K in Glasgow, 400K in the Burgh.) It must be the Highland air morphing my brain into mush.

NG3: This is why I LOVE ITALY.

NG4: I failed my driving test today. I haven't failed a test in a very long time. It was due to 'roadworks' as they call it in the UK, where I gave the workers 'too much space' (i.e. I was too far over in the right lane). I am very, very annoyed. "Bad luck," said the Weegie* examiner whose accent I likely insulted by asking him to repeat himself with each command. Failing sucks, too. But it's made better by again glimpsing the above photo.

NG5: The New Baby is nearly gestated. I've been quiet about this one, as it's a tough subject and a tough book to write, though I'm feeling good about it. Hoping to have it ready by the end of June. Fingers crossed.

The top photo is of Turkish lamps and the mountains above Lago Lugano. I'm still on a bit of a high from the trip there. Some connections are tough to break.

*Glaswegian. Some have very difficult accents to comprehend,